Monday, February 10, 2020

Al Paccioli brings down the house at Veroche CNS debate: 'I'm a tough son of a bitch'

SOUTHWICK, Ver. -- There were a lot of laughs at the first Conservative gubernatorial debate in Veroche tonight.

The stage was crowded as all nine candidates - all men and all white except for one - hashed out their positions on a variety of issues.

But the topic that dominated the evening was bashing incumbent NAT Governor Tom Harper.

Mac Griffin, 74, the mayor of Red Leaf and current front runner in the race, gave Harper credit for an improving economy, but said it could be "even better" under Conservative leadership.

Multiple candidates, including Lanakis Mayor Dick Scholinger, cited the high cost of living as contradictory to the state's strong economy.

Scholinger was interrupted by moderator Greg Jones, who questioned if the mayor was partially responsible for the high cost of living in his own city.

"It's happened on your watch, while you've been in office," said Jones.

The "exorbitant" cost of living has been a problem for decades, Scholinger said.

"It preceded my time in office, and quite frankly, it preceded Tom Harper's time in office too. This is a problem that started a long time ago and no one at the state level has done anything to fix it."

Scholinger also took credit for reducing taxes and cutting regulation as mayor, something businessman Bill Enos took issue with.

"No you didn't, Dick. You raised taxes and increased regulation. I know because I've built many buildings in Lanakis and done lots of real estate transactions there. Your city is a mess," said Enos, a political newcomer and self-funded billionaire candidate.

Gen. Greggory Jordan, also a political newcomer and the former director of the Trewallen Military Academy, was asked if his lack of civilian employment would hinder his success as governor, if elected.

"Serving in the military provides you with a lot of useful life experience. It teaches you how to lead, how to manage, how to handle conflict, how to delegate, how to solve a problem. The military has more than prepared me to be governor," said Jordan.

But the comment that drew the most laughs and interest of the night was from state Senator Artemis "Al" Paccioli (pronounced "Puh-chull-ee").

"We need a tough candidate to beat Tom Harper," Paccioli said, pausing momentarily. "And I'm a tough son of a bitch," he said, chuckling.

"And no, I'm not in the mafia," he added.

His colorful comments were met with raucous laughter and applause from the audience and from his fellow candidates on stage.

 Later on, libertarian-leaning Assemblyman Vaughn Laudney of Boyervosse told the crowd "I'm a tough son of a gun too," referencing Paccioli's earlier comments.

Paccioli interjected. "It doesn't sound as good when you say it," he said to laughs.

The candidate with the least speaking time was state Sen. Mark Holworth of Dishpry, an eastern suburb of Lanakis.

Holworth has served more time in the Veroche state legislature than any of the other candidates. He was asked by moderator Greg Jones if his legislative experience made him better prepared to be governor than his rivals.

"I think so. A big part of being governor is knowing the key players, knowing who the important state representatives and state senators are, and knowing the important factions in our state legislature. I know all those people because I've been working with them for years. I think that gives me a leg up," said Holworth, who has struggled to raise his profile amid bigger-name candidates.

Collettasville Mayor Tom Settler was asked what he would bring to the governorship, if elected.

"A backbone," he said, to applause. "We need a committed Conservative, not a wishy-washy Conservative who will change positions and cave to the NAT," said the little-known and low-polling Settler.

The evening drew to a close with more laughs, as Jones addressed Don Christaman, an assemblyman from Touleville in north-central Veroche.

"Assemblyman Christaman, you received the least support of any candidate in the most recent poll, only 2.5 percent. You've ran for statewide office multiple times and failed each time. Why are you running for governor then? Your track record isn't good. Do you really think you have a chance at winning the governorship?"

Some laughs and murmurs from the audience were audible, as the assemblyman paused to answer.

"Well thanks for that question, Greg," said Christaman, half-laughing and half-annoyed.

"I think it's an unfair question, especially since Dick Scholinger also has ran for statewide office multiple times and failed too. You didn't ask him that question, you only asked me, but I'll go ahead and answered it since you asked."

"I absolutely think I can win. I wouldn't be running if I didn't think I could. And unlike some of the guys up on this stage, I'm not a wavering Conservative. I'm not a moderate. I'm a true, strong Conservative, and my Conservative values will always stay the same and stay true. I won't compromise my beliefs just to get elected."

The much-watched debate showed, however, that the Veroche Conservative Party will have to pick between a more moderate, centrist candidate or a hard-line, right-wing nominee.

Veroche is a liberal state, so more partisan candidate will likely have more difficulty winning in December.

Party leaders are privately hoping a more centrist candidate such as Griffin, Scholinger, Jordan or Paccioli will win over the more provocative and right-wing Enos, Laudney, Settler or Christaman.

Few endorsements have been made so far in the race.

Former CNS nominee Brad Davidson has declined to make an endorsement yet, though sources close to him say he would be satisfied with any of the candidates except the outspoken and bellicose Bill Enos.


Several right-wing activists and personalities have endorsed Enos, who has been compared to US President Donald Trump for his demeanor and politically-incorrect commentary.

Despite his reputation as a loud-mouth, Enos didn't dominate the night, however.

That honor goes to Al Paccioli, the little-known state senator and owner of a dry cleaners business from Deniece.

After the debate, Paccioli was trending on Google, Yahoo and Twitter.

His campaign immediately sent out a fundraising email after the debate, capitalizing on his moment in the spotlight.

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